I haven't flipped out like that in a while. I was starting to stress about my research paper earlier in the day (my first draft of my 35-60 page paper is due on Tuesday...the one I only have 10 shoddy pages written for...), and so I thought maybe I'd try to just chill out about it and go to the movies with Katharina. So, we met up after work, went to Dunks, and went to get our tickets and sit down. She got a medium Coke at the snack bar -- it was the size of a helmet. Or maybe a small child. I don't know how we got that Coke into the movie theater without a forklift.
Good thing they offer free refills.
Anyway, the movie was really excellent. I'm sure you've all heard the basic synopsis, but it tells the story of how Mark Zuckerberg became the youngest billionaire in the world. His character is completely unlikeable, so consumed by his obsession with his own success that he really badly mistreats anyone who ever tried to be a part of his life. It's absolutely worth seeing.
The problem for me was that something about Zuckerberg struck me as far too relatable. At the beginning of the movie, he's out with his then-girlfriend, completely verbally abusing her, and right before she storms out, the camera zooms straight in on her face, and she says this:
"You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole."Zuckerberg only further spirals away from humanity from that point on, and by the end of the movie, I kind of felt like I was just as despicable as he was. Not really for any real rational reason at all.
We happened to leave the theater to get the Metro right as the Capitals/Bruins game let out at the Verizon Center, and so all of a sudden we were surrounded by HUGE crowds of people. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but I all of a sudden I flipped out. I remember watching everyone move around me, and the more I stayed still and the more they moved, the more uncomfortable and confined I felt. I started getting bizarrely tense and hostile, totally snapped at my girlfriend, and all of a sudden, I need to get out. I boned out like I've never boned out before, speed walking along a really dangerously close edge of the train tracks. Some chick in a Capitals jersey bumped me a little, and I totally panicked about falling down into the tracks. Anyway, I made it to the exit, paid, left the Metro station and took off down the street. It took maybe two or three blocks before I think Katharina completely caught up with me.
Anyway, it was really weird. It took me a while to completely calm down. The rest of the night was weird too.
TODAY THOUGH, I went to Urban Outfitters (every time I go there, I think "fucking hipsters" in my head every time I see a new article of clothing or stupid kitschy book that I secretly want to buy) and bought some pants without a hole in the crotch and a moderately cute skirt I wont be able to wear until it's summer again (or maybe when I'm home for thanksgiving?). Since then, I've been sitting in Starbucks slowly stealing better and better seats. Now I'm by a window three stories up near downtown. This is the view from the window:
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| Sorry this picture isn't good. But city lights are cool, even if they're not New York City lights (which apparently is the only city that really exists) |
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